The partners of P.I.S.S. LLP

The Partners of P.I.S.S. LLP — Not Pictured: River

Founded on a Principle.
Several, Actually.

Parnaby, Ignatious, Sotherby & Smithe LLP was established in response to a specific set of circumstances that, frankly, should never have arisen. A jape was committed. Blame was misattributed. The wrong people were looked at sideways.

From that injustice was born a law firm uniquely positioned to handle the kinds of grievances that other firms consider too niche, too digital, or too vibes-based to take seriously. We take them seriously. We bill for them accordingly.

Our practice spans Discord-based impersonation litigation, reputational harm sustained in group chats, losses arising from the Suspicion Period, and a growing canine advocacy wing that is, technically, ahead of its time.

I.

We do not dispute that the jape was, in isolation, quite good. That is not the point.

II.

Every client deserves representation, regardless of how difficult the grievance is to explain to a reasonable person.

III.

The vibe was off. Legal recourse exists. We will find it.

Senior Partners

R. Parnaby Esq.

R. Parnaby, Esq.

Senior Partner · Lead Counsel, Digital Jape Division

Mr. Parnaby has led the firm since its founding and has yet to lose a case, primarily because the firm's cases rarely reach any formal venue. He considers this a win. He is not wrong.

Partner

M. Smithe, Esq.

Associate Partner · Discord Torts & Vibes-Based Litigation

Ms. Smithe joined the firm following an incident she declines to discuss. Her speciality in vibes-based litigation has seen her develop a near-psychic sensitivity to when a room's energy has, legally speaking, shifted.

Partner

B. Ignatious, Esq.

Partner · Punitive Damages & Audacity Assessment

Mr. Ignatious pioneered the concept of audacity as a compensable loss and continues to refine the methodology. He bills by the paragraph. He has written very long paragraphs.

Partner

C. Sotherby, Esq.

Partner · Canine Advocacy & Veterinary Technology Fraud

Mr. Sotherby leads our canine advocacy wing and has been instrumental in establishing River's distress as a moral, if not strictly legal, cause of action. He remains optimistic about the jurisdictional question.

A Track Record

1

Case on Record

We are thorough. We are selective. We are extremely focused on this one situation.

0

Losses

Technically accurate. The matter has not yet proceeded to any formal venue.

£1

Smallest Claim

Plus one treat. The treat is non-negotiable. River has been through enough.

Paragraphs Billed

Our billing model rewards thoroughness. And length. Mostly length.