Contact — P.I.S.S. LLP

Get in Touch

P.I.S.S. LLP accepts enquiries from individuals who have been wrongly implicated, sideways-glanced, or otherwise harmed by a jape they had nothing to do with. We also represent, on a case-by-case basis, the perpetrators of japes who wish to get ahead of things.

Office Location

Suite 404, The Internet
Discord, Cyberspace

Telephone

1-800-NOT-REAL

Electronic Correspondence

counsel@piss-law.notawebsite

Office Hours

Whenever the vibe calls for it.
We do not operate on a schedule.

Submit Your Grievance

Your Name

Also Known As

Electronic Mail Address

Nature of Grievance

Name of the Defendant

Particulars of the Matter

Is a Dog Involved?

Submission of this form does not constitute the formation of a solicitor-client relationship, mostly because we are not real solicitors. P.I.S.S. LLP will review all submissions and respond in due course, defined here as "whenever we feel like it."

A note on confidentiality: All communications with P.I.S.S. LLP are treated as strictly confidential, except when they are very funny, in which case they may be shared in the relevant Discord server.

P.I.S.S. LLP is a fictional law firm. Parnaby, Ignatious, Sotherby, and Smithe are fictional attorneys. No actual legal advice is available here. If you have a real legal problem, please contact a real lawyer. River's treat claim, however, we will take.